Coz I feel like I need to

These days I have been doing alot more thinking
I have been stepping back to reflect
When I need to speak up, I put effort in my choice of words
I voice out when I feel like I need to
I am more observant and I get agitated easily
But I also learn to let go
Let go of my comfort zone to learn
I changed.

LOVES

Coz it's poem time!

Pain, pain go away!
Please do not come back another day
I hope you will start trying,
I hope you understand
I hope for us to change
But hoping just gets you hurt,
Because the things that I hope for
Usually never work

If only walls could talk;
They'd tell you how I cry
I'm not sure when it started, 
Or why it is so strong

All I ask for now,
Is for you to realize.


>>>
Chupppp no no no.....  I just want to pen down my ideas
I'm fine, dont worry.
We are going to Jurong Bird Park tmr with #syafiqxnurJr, InsyaAllah!


LOVES

Coz this is what I ask for

All I want is to watch a movie
Simple
All I want is your time
Simple
All I want is your attention
Simple
All I want is to be there
Simple
All I want is to be hugged
Simple
All I want is to have my hands held
Simple
All I want is you
Simple?
Yes, I think so.

LOVES

Coz I've not done this for sooooo long!

When is your birthday?
- 20.05
Have you kissed anyone in the last 48 hours?
- My son
Do you like your first name?
- I do
Where do you want to live?
- A home i can call mine
Did you cry today?
- Nope. Why should I?
What were you doing at 8 this morning?
- Still sleeping coz my son keeps getting up every hour for attention. He turned 3 months today =)
What are you listening to?
- The sound of the fan
What are you currently doing?
- Enjoying my time while husb look after my son
Have you told anybody you loved them today?
- Not yet. I will in a while. To my husb =D I tell him that everyday.
Do you miss anybody?
- Yop
Any plans for tomorrow?
- Gotta bring my son fir his vaccinations, Im the nervous one.
What was the reason behind the last time you cried?
- lets just say.. some things are meant to be personal
Is there anyone you want to be with right now?
- Ibu
Are you going to be home alone tonight?
- Nope never will
Have you kissed anyone who's name starts with the letter C?
- A child at work. Yes.
What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
- Water
Where was your default picture taken?
- A cousin's wedding photobooth
Last time you walked further than a block?
- Yesterday, We took the little one out for a walk around in his pram
How late did you stay up last night and why?
- Oh man, I woke up at 12, 3am, 4am, 5am and finally doze off at 6am..... My son....
Do you prefer to call or text?
- WhatsApp
Where are you at right now?
- In my room at my In-law's
Can you live a day without TV?
- Hmmmmm I've been through those days. But now, I think I still can.
Are you mad about anything?
- Yes I am
Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
- Huh? Of course? Duh,
Are you a bad influence?
- Im not or maybe I am
Night out or night in?
- Night in.. but sometimes night out can be fun. With my husb and son, of course
What items could you not go without during the day?
- My phone
Would you share a drink with a stranger?
- Never!
Last hug?
- Yesterday
Do you think it’s weird for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?
- Asalkan dorang bahagia, biarlaaa. Dosa tanggung sendiri ye, pada yg muslimin....
Do you hate anyone?
-Nope
Anyone upset you lately?
- Yes
Last person you talked to on the phone?
- Abah, yesterday

LOVES

Coz look at me now

Hey LittleLove,
you are my reason now
I have never thought of a day I could spend without you
My waking hours is devoted to you
Heck, my sleeping hours revolved around you, too
I am multitasking everything I could so I that you get my attention whenever you want it
Am I making any sense? I dont know
All I know is
I LOVE YOU
Forever and always

And thank you to my dearest husband, the father of my child
For being the most amazing human being on earth
You helped me when I was weak
You held me through my difficult times
You are stronger than you thought you were
You made me realised that love knows no boundaries
You held my hand when I was in labour
You calmed me down when I panicked
You talked sense to me when I was delirious
You were patient with me when I started screaming
You brushed my hair (or head, couldnt remember) when I was in pain
You stood there the whole time and you hurt your knees
You are my hero

Thank you for being and staying with me
Thank you.

LOVES

Coz I deserved more than that

As a preschool educator, we are met with challenges everyday
We are not just someone who change your child's diaper and shower them
We do more than that
We educate your child
That is our responsibility and we take ultimate pride when your child master it

I have to plan an eight week lesson plan for the children
Sound easy? Because they are just children. Not that hard because they won't remember it when they grow up
You're wrong
Planning a lesson is never easy
A lesson consist of a set of objectives you have for the children
Bare in mind, all children are different and you need to know their strengths to measure the objectives you're setting
With that, you think of the activity
The activity, you need to consider the time taken to complete
It may 30 minutes, one hour, 1 day or even 2 days
You need to know the interest if your children
What's the point on teaching them something that they are not interest in
They will doze off, start to be distracted, not listening and the last thing you want is them walking all around the classroom throwing tantrums and in the end, you get a rowdy class
Educating children is fun
You learn together with them
They have curious mind and will ask you endless of question that will be answered even how ridiculous it may sound
When they mastered the concepts you introduced to them, that feeling though
You feel damn proud!
Especially when they went home and teach their parents. Hah.

You need to prepare materials
Preparing materials is not an easy task
You need to go out and buy
By doing so, it means you're taking up your own time with your loved ones and dragging them to look for the materials with you coz you need it so badly for the lesson
This is a sacrifice you had to make for the children, that is not even your own
You begin to hunt for shops that sells the good stuff
You know which shop has the best deal in town
You collect discounts to get the best price but good in quality
You only want the best materials for your children

You have to do observations on the children
Doing observations is another challenge
But, after years, you will get the hang of it
If you ask me about any of my children now, I can happily tell you all the things I know at my fingertips
I may only need 4 mins to do my observations now
But it took me 4 years to be able to do it that fast

And the list continues....................


LOVES

Missed

I miss my normal life.
By normal I mean this..
Having nothing to worry about,
Having nothing to do,
I could just laze around in my room doing nothing,
I could diy stuff whenever I want,
Always feel inspired to create something,
My mum and dad with me 24/7,
Showering late,
Waking up late,
Waiting for next day with a peace of mind,
Fall asleep whenever and wherever (in the house) I want,
School.

LOVES

#syafiqxnur a new beginning

Hi!
Yerp. New year. New me. New beginning.
Officially married now.

And...... signing off,
here's to us.

LOVES

#syafiqxnur

So.
wow.
Hmmmm 15 days left?
But to be really honest, still not feeling it. hah!
Maybe when I'm left with a few days, I'll feel the jitters?
No idea. But as of now, things are pretty much done.
I am left with this small room to decorate.
Hantaran.... Gubahan.... Sirih Junjung.... Bunga Rampai....
All those. Just leave it in the hands of my mother.

LOVES

#syafiqxnur And it continues