I'll be honest okay?
I didn't get enough sleep
Why
coz i freakin cried the whole night away
I'M NOT GRADUATING WITH YOU
and that hurt me so bad
so bad that i started cursing myself for being stupid
so stupid to get influence to be in my situation now
if only i had been myself and not let it happened
but it happened
i know there's no point ranting about it
but, hey, i just need to let it out
okay?
i cried
coz im a fool
i cried
coz there's a chance i wont be there during the ceremony
i cried
coz i've let my parents down, i know
i cried
coz people would question me why
i cried
coz im scared what will happen to me when everyone's gone
i cried
coz i know i'll be lonely
i cried
coz im left out
i cried
coz i'll be getting the stare
i cried
coz i'm not strong enough
i cried
coz i let my friends and you down
im sorry
i didnt want it to turn out this way either
i never want it to happen
but it's coz of my foolishness
things never go my way
i really wish i could turn back time
and make it alright
i swear
i wish i could
i want to be who i am right now, back then
im stronger than who i am back then
i remember the time
when most of my friends scrimmage about smp/installation
they said it's difficult
i look at them and i thought to myself
hey, while you're at it,
look at me
i'm doing 5 modules which is a total alien to me
and i have to bloody understand all the formulas
who the hell, at that point, would want to be in my position
everyday of the week, i have class
everyday of the week, i thought about fyp
everyday of the week, i had to make space in my brain for stupid formulas
but, i'm telling you,
don't call me stupid
at least i made it
my gpa is not really a good one
but believe me,
im proud of myself for doing so well
i failed none of my UTs
i made it
i really cried alot last night
if tears have a limit,
i'd had gone way overboard
can i pull through? alone?
can i make it?
will i be okay?
are they going to be nice to me?
will the 'journalism' nightmare repeat itself?
i wish i could answer this questions now
but of course, i can't.
LOVES
